Two mornings a week, I join students from Russia, Brazil, Vietnam, Angola to learn how to describe the world around us in the most basic terms: this is a chair; that is a window; this is a pen (to jest krzesło; to jest okno, to jest piuro). I am American (Jestem z Ameryki). I like books and music (interesuję się literatura i muzyka). Up until last month, I would have described myself as a quick learner, an eager student. Polish requires a reframing. I am not quick. It is difficult and slow, and that tempers my eagerness.
Yes, I am an eager student when learning about a topic that interests me, and I easily draw connections to what I already know – but what about when learning something totally new, totally foreign?
You see a lot of different responses in a classroom of adults. The last time I was brand new to a language I was eight or nine years old. Now, we are less elastic, less flexible, less buoyant than kids. There is nervous laughter, because not knowing is uncomfortable. Silence, eyes firmly on paper, because being quiet is better than being wrong. Shutting down, refusing to try, to guess, to speak any Polish at all, rather than speak poorly. Deferral to more advanced students, looking to them for answers.
Rather than quick or eager, I am trying to be a humble learner – to admit when I don’t know something, to ask questions when I don’t understand, when all else fails, to guess in the hopes that in failing I will learn something new, or at least how to avoid that failure in the future. To not take failure so personally; to be okay with being new, and slow at something, without it dampening my eagerness, my joy in learning.